Office Gossip – Evil but Funny

Like most offices, mine is prone to gossip and backbiting – what with us having a lot of time on our hands, so to speak. Well, me and my friends do gossip a little about that kangaroo man in Australia and about our lives but we have NEVER created stories that are completely untrue just for the sake of creating gossip. {sigh} maybe we should have been a little creative but that is not our nature. Yes, I may be loud and gutsy but I don’t try to pick out one person and make stupid and unreal stories about him or her. Why this rant? Well, I had just found myself in the middle of an office gossip about ME! LOL – I did not honestly know that my life could be so interesting or sensational (haha for lack of a better term) to be the topic of office gossip.

No, I was not hurt by the stories – contrary to what you might be thinking. I was, of course, mad that a single person can create several far-fetched stories about me, my life, and my choices in life {sigh} but the stories were so crazy that my hubby, my siblings, my {real} friends at work, and I had several big laughs about those stories.

As copyeditor, I guess that I just have to copyedit the stupid stories. The gossip girl uses my real name to tell the story, so let’s use the closest thing I could think of without revealing her real name – Miss Oyster.

oysters and boogers

Miss Oyster,

As much as I would have liked to keep the knowledge that I know what you are saying about me behind my back a secret, I just can’t take that my blogging about the job thing would receive a nasty comment from you. You even informed Miss S about that {sigh}. Maybe you should first clarify your stories with me so that you have the correct facts but then that wouldn’t be gossip anymore, right? So, it wouldn’t be as fun.

Anyway, let me correct the stupid stories that you have been circulating about me – I know that it is YOU who circulates and creates the stories because I have about 6 or more people telling me the same thing. {sigh} You must really hate me, right? I do not know why you hate me so much to create such far-fetched stories. We don’t even talk, we are not in the same shift, and we have no common REAL friends – that is why I was confused as to who your “sources” are.

So, here are your crazy but funny stories (just like what we do, I have to use strike-through for the incorrect parts):

• My hubby is mad about my online jobs so he FORCED me to stop. Due to that quitting thing I couldn’t afford my UNLIMITED internet connection anymore so I had to switch back to the stupid PREPAID!

(1 )This bit is the funniest of all. My hubby is the most supportive person in my life – he’s the one who encouraged me to go on with the most difficult assignments I’ve received. {sigh} Where did you get the idea then? (2) I may not look it but I can definitely afford to pay for that monthly internet connection. You are definitely very grossly misinformed. Did you know that I paid P25,000 just to set up the connection? Then another P7,000 for the antenna’s radio? Both were in cash. Also, I bought this new computer at P38,000 on the same month – again, in cash. That is on top of the laptop that I gave to my sister-in-law. So, I couldn’t afford the P750 a month? {sigh} That is just ONE-HALF day of online job.

• I created a blog about hating my job. Why did I do that? If I hate the job then I should QUIT! What is that bond anyway – that could not hold me!

Notice that I did not cross out the first few sentences because they are true. Yes, I created this blog but you should have read my entry as to why I hate it. You judged my blog based on the URL {sigh}. You see, not all people would agree with you. According to Jermaine, “This is a humours site that I’m sure many people can relate too. This blogger let’s you know that you are not alone in your hatred for your job. When you are board and the maddening day to day routine is consuming you, bookmark this blog for a little at work relief. Keep up the good work.” It might need a little copyediting but the thought is there.

Can you honestly tell me that YOU LOVE the JOB? Come on! I had heard you rant about the job, too – heck, most of us rant about the job. Do not be such a hypocrite.

A lot of people there could relate with how I feel about the job 😀 Why do you think those many people resigned if they love the job? Huh? Besides, you should ask us what that bond means – it is a freaking P97,000 if we don’t honor the contract. That is money that I’d rather use to buy a house 😀 Don’t worry, I’d be out for good by the end of the year. Til then, hold on to your horses.

• You asked if I already have a baby- and smirked when my friend told you that I have none.

Why I don’t have a baby is none of your business – just as you having babies out of wedlock is not my business. I have my reasons, you have yours. Let’s keep it at that. So, I’m nasty? You started it. Don’t expect that I have no retort, Miss Oyster.

There’s more but stories that affect the friendship I have with the people at work will not be posted here 😀 I can’t let you ruin my real friendship with the people there 😀

I expect that there would be hundreds more stories to come {sigh}. I know that after you learn about – and read – this entry, there’ll be hell to pay. Haha. Your group has never liked me so I don’t really care. My principle in life had always been, “I can’t please everybody, so I don’t bother try”. Maybe, yours should be “Mind my own business”.

With no respect at all,

Me

P.S. But you still have to inform me why you hate me so much because if it is just my guts then that is too simple for you to make stories about me 😀 I can’t really think of anything that I had ever done to you. Love triangle is definitely out of the list. Money would also be out because I had never borrowed anything from you. Competition at work is also out because we are NOT even on the same shift and the same project. And I had never STOLEN any of your friends. I had never talked about you in any way to any one – I don’t know you at all. So give me just one valid reason why you made those stories.